Because I always have made for the men whom in
o. k. , this will sound very egotistical, but here it comes. i have spent my life receiving massive amounts of attention from men, adored externally, but never really loved internally. i have dated 3 men in my life, married all three of them. 1st one ended up with a secret life, 2nd one turned out to be a sociopath, 3rd one turned out to be a pathological liar who was diagnosed recently as bipolar and is completely impotent. these are not exaggerations, but the truth. i’m trying to figure out if i’m so desperate for love that i take the first one that wants to marry me or if i have some deep seated self punishment wish or just horribly bad luck. i am currently separated from my impotent, bipolar, pathological liar husband and will be getting a divorce after 4. 5 years of marriage. i don’t want to overanalyze, but don’t ever want to make these mistakes again. . . please don’t give answers such as “why are you asking strangers when you need a counselor. ” i have a counselor.
p. s. i had no earthly idea about any of these problems pre-marriage to any of them. dated all for 9 mos. -2 years. am i naive, in denial or just stupid?
it’s so amazing how simple minded and inane some people are–attention whore, looney, ha! i’ve been accepted to 5 different law schools and have raised single-handedly raised 3 intelligent, well rounded children and have a very successful business. just wanted some lover within you gives back the love to you on my bad choices of men. point proven: there are more crazy people in the world than i realized.
Work on your self esteem.
I don’t think you’re stupid, naive or in denial. I do think you lack insight into the reasons why you are attracted to unhealthy men. From a psychological standpoint, the reasons go back to your childhood and how you were treated by your parents. From a practical standpoint, find a counselor who can help you get to the bottom of these issues, and don’t date again until you have a better handle on what’s going on inside of you.
Now I can speak for me I think you run a bad luck charm. Guys usually do not have women because of the thing fawn pairing, but it does not always mean that more attention is the best. Did not specify if these guys just after they met, so I’m a bit shot, married you and your problems.
” I am you £o despaired. Because the love that I am to the first to marry me a, ” Same Você said. padrões more raised.
I think the positive part of your story is that I am sure you will be able to recognize warning signs of potential issues. It seems to me we often see what we want to see, don’t discuss the important issues, and close our eyes to little flaws that turn out to be full-blown personality disorders. I think there are a lot of screwed up people out there and that they all work hard to cover that up.
I do not think something is wrong with you unless you tolerate being mistreated, let your rights be taken from you, or stick around and let someone walk all over you.
If you are happy with you and where your life is with no man and have dreams and goals and things you love about you and your life, then you just had a bad run of men and will have to take it slow and see what happens next.
You sound smart, so look back on these relationships, thinking about the dating part especially and consider what clues you may have missed/minimized/ignored that you can watch out for in your future relationships. I don’t think you have some hidden mental, psychological or emotional disorder that makes you choose bad men. I think it is just a learning curve. Do not marry your next date. Take LOTS of time and ask the good questions. After 3 marriages, you know what your needs are. Find someone who can meet them.
Good luck!
Listen i know what ya mean going through that as we speak but was only married one time and for 12yrs. I have felt like I have done everything in my power to make things right for everyone in my life that I have been friends or in love with believe me it gets tiring. I am so tired of being the nice person to everyone and getting craped on in my life it feels like it never ends. one day you will get to a point to where ya just don’t care anymore if people want to treat you like that then move on to the next. nice girls do not get anywhere that is what I have learned through the years well then maybe its time to change to a bitch. . . . start thinking like this you can be a bitch with out hurting anyone when you meet someone be flat out straight with them and if they done like your aditude well then they can move on. then maybe one day that right guy will come alone and you can let your gaurd back down. Good luck
Both!
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